Complex equation

I owned a Toyota Land Cruiser. It was functional but basic, so I wondered whether I was missing out. Keen to sample what science could offer, I replaced it with a Volkswagen Passat GTE.

I love the adaptive cruise control, even if it does encourage naps. I admire the LED running lights, despite being able to see them only in shop windows. It looks great for an estate. That’s it. That’s what I like.

On the other side of the equation, it has

LEDS to light up the front upper third of the door (why?), yet not in the charging socket, so I have to piston around for that. Then I must press a button,

‘charge later’ (I’ve never worked out how that’s done) or ‘charge now’, which charges it 50% of the time, giving me not 34 miles but nearer 22 – ie not enough to be useful. It has parking sensors that can’t tell between a pile of semtex and a geranium, and if they detect anything more than a vacuum, they slam on the anchors. It has three modes: D for drive, B for battery regen and M, which Volkswagen couldn’t explain. The infotainment often fails to start. There’s a switch by the driver’s head to switch on the rear compartment lights, which will distract you but aren’t mentioned in the manual. This manual, it seems, isn’t meant to help you drive this overly complex car but to prevent Volkswagen from being sued.

If this is representative of modern cars, they’ve gone too far. We need to simplify. Touchscreens should be banned, as they allow too many layers of complexity, and manuals should have a mandatory limit of 50 pages.

Now, has anyone recently bought a bottom-of-the-range 54-plate Land Cruiser? I want it back. Hamish Mclure

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