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ONE STEP CLOSER TO HUMAN CLONES
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Brexit’s not a disaster–it’s turned out less badly than we thought
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‘Prostitutes entertained City bosses’ at debauched Dorchester do
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WIN £10K TODAY
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The Nightmare of Casterbridge
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Why your dry January could be a waste of time
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Battle of Rorke’s Drift II: The shameful surrender
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Heroism that was immortalised on film
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PM tells investors: Punish net giants who won’t clean up act
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Is this the week Boris launched his bid for the leadership?
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We COULD be a vassal state, warns Mogg
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Oxfam facing backlash over anti-capitalist tweet – as boss is paid £127k
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Back to basics with cleaner, safer prisons, vows minister
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Stephen Glover
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HANDS ON BOTTOMS
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Waitress: I was shocked when the call girls arrived
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‘Wear a skimpy dress and remain discreet’
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It was hands on bottoms, hands on hips – and hands creeping up skirts . . .
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Theresa can ‘hardly get a word in edgeways whenever she is on the phone to Trump’
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Closed by a hygiene scandal, meat firm that supplies Jamie
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I am not afraid...
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Water fountain is back!
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Our ‘recycled plastic’ dumped in landfill all over the world
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End of the Yellow Brick Road
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Breast cancer patients told: Just 2 glasses of wine a week
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RUFF JUSTICE!
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Ephraim Hardcastle
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Unexpected robot in the bagging area!
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Girls win more places at Oxford than boys for ‘first time in memory’
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Top stake on ‘crack cocaine bets’ will be cut, says PM
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Deepcut ‘suicide soldier shackled and paraded’
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PM defends Union Jack in Scots row
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Jailed for 175 years, paedophile doctor who preyed on Olympic gymnasts
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Help me find my missing trophies so I can clear my debts, says Becker
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ARE COMPUTERS TURNING INTO BIGOTS?
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Cancer is a tragedy, not men behaving like boorish oiks
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Record 32m in work … and a jobless rate half the EU’s
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New mothers under pressure to feel ‘super happy’ all the time, says pregnant Kate
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How f lu can dramatically raise risk of heart attack
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Road too dangerous for lollipop ladies... but not for kids to cross
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Did Escape from Alcatraz convicts make it out alive?
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Smuggling stinky truffles, teaching toads to sing—and a gold mine in my garden!
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Reptile lover is choked to death ...by his python
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Cost of used petrol cars rise 10% as diesels dive
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Speed cameras trap you even if no limit is shown
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70pc surge in failed prosecutions caused by evidence blunders
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ON THIS DAY
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Millionaire strangled his daughter, 7, with dressing gown cord
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Smear tests are uncomfortable but vital says PM
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Humphrys to take THIRD pay cut in BBC equality row Today star’s salary could be slashed by up to £200,000
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It’s every parent’s DUTY to spare our children the most painful rite of passage of all
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Mother who did her big tidy-up at 55
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Blind date
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SPARE ME THIS NARCISSISM!
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MATCH BROW COLOUR TO YOUR HAIR
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USE DYE TO HIDE THIN PATCHES
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DON’T BE TOO BIG AND BOLD
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Why do TV dramas have to scare the living daylights out of mothers-to-be?
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The wife who diagnosed her husband’s Parkinson’s by smell
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Can an open marriage ever work?
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Why women feel SEXIER if they wear SOCKS in bed!
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How to cheat your way to a perkier posterior after 50
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Dear BBC, Miriam’s mad auntie act is no way to tackle a racist
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I really needed one for the trunk road
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Today’s poem
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My mission impossible ... to find a bra that fits!
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Do we need a government minister for loneliness?
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Straight to the POINT
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A giant sneeze for mankind...
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It’s Elysia who makes those effects special
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I liked the Thai meals so much I bought an outlet
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Have you got what it takes to be an executive assistant?
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Revealed: The £225m attack on Carillion pensions
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THE DAILY BRIEFING
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Britain’s jobs boom powers pound to $1.42
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Sterling’s leap forward
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Dark cloud over tech star as Sage is hit for £574m
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Prepare for Trump’s trade war
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SERGIO TAKES AIM AT TIGER
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We are trying for perfection, declares Wood
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Come dine with me... if you lift the trophy
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Shy boy who didn’t tell his pals he played tennis
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Cilic will feel like he’s drunk 8 pints!
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EDDIE’S BATTLE CRY
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Ping-pong prodigy, aged 11
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Triesman pledges to blow whistle on FIFA
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By all accounts the players are thrilled by his appointment
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Some object that he didn’t apply ... but nor did Fergie
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HIS LACK OF EXPERIENCE IS THE REAL ISSUE HERE
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Sports minister piles more pressure on FA
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£57m Laporte asks Bilbao to seal City move
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WHAT NEXT FOR ANXIOUS CONTE?
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WENGER’S PIN BALL WIZARDS
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PROBLEMS PILE UP FOR CONTE: Now I can complete set, says Arsene
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DAILY MAIL CROSSWORD
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TERMS & CONDITIONS
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OSCAR CAINER