MIDWEEK
MIRTH Jordan’s sex-cess see pages 16-17
THE missus asked
me if I could be more like Man City during sex. “What do you mean?” I asked? “Stay on top for ages, then come second,” she said. SHAMED Tory Minister Francis Maude – who sent the nation into a fuel hoarding frenzy – has quit his posh country pile because he’s fed up of having Jordan as his neighbour! The wealthy MP faced calls to resign last week after he sparked panic buying at the pumps by telling everyone to store fuel in jerry cans.
Now he’s put his £1.5million home on the market, and locals say it’s because of busty babe Jordan, who moved in next door six months ago. In the sleepy village of Dial Post in West Sussex it’s said that Jordan, 33, has ‘lowered the tone’ driving round in her ‘gaudy’ pink Range Rover with a film crew in tow.
A villager said: “Maude’s had enough. Jordan as a neighbour wasn’t what he imagined.
“The last thing he wants is to hear her squawking and prancing around in her velour tracksuits – he’s under enough stress as it is.”
Seeking
The house, which he paid £342,500 for in 1996, has seven bedrooms, and stables.
A Tory insider added: “Some of the wags in the party have been taking the Mickey a little, asking him if he’d had the neighbours round for port, and so on.”
A spokesman for the Cabinet Office Minister said: “Mr Maude and his wife are downsizing now their five grown-up children are leaving home.”
Mr Maude, 58, caused uproar with his comments after tanker drivers threatened to strike.
He said: “When it makes sense, a bit of extra fuel in a jerry can in the garage is a sensible precaution.”
The nation went into a blind panic with forecourts becoming battlegrounds and fuel pumps running dry.
One woman, Diane Hill, 46, set fire to herself after putting petrol into a jam jar in the kitchen of her home in Wakefield.