BACK IN THE DRIVING SEAT
After a period of little choice, we’re having to make a dizzying number of decisions again. How do we stop procrastinating and choose well?
We have to make decisions again, but we’re out of practice. How can we help ourselves to choose well?
CHOCOLATE FUDGE OR raspberry ripple? Some choices are easy to make! But, as the number of decisions we’ve been presented with has narrowed, along with our social circles and places to roam, we’ve rather fallen out of the habit. In some ways, this simpler life has felt like a blessing, allowing those of us who feel exhausted by the pressure of decision-making to take our foot off the pedal. But now that life is opening up again, there’s a deluge of decisions requiring our attention. So, how do we readjust to getting back into the driving seat and reclaiming control?
‘We’ve been thrown back into the “old normal” when it comes to decision-making, and it’s a shock to the system,’ says neuroscientist Tara Swart. The average person makes thousands of decisions every day. Most of these are tiny, such as how to word an email, whether to click on an Instagram post or what to put on our toast. However, she says: ‘What most people don’t realise is that each of these decisions has an associated cognitive cost.’ In other words, every choice depletes our mental energy and, the more we make, the emptier our ‘bucket of cognitive resources’ becomes. Which is why, by the end of the day, we can barely decide what to eat, which series to watch and even when to go to bed.
Dance around the issue
This is the reason why ‘choice reduction’ has become a hot topic in recent years. We’ve all heard about technology CEOS living in a uniform of identical T-shirts and jeans, so they don’t have to waste brainpower dithering over picking a tie every morning. For the rest of us, that may be the equivalent of having a weekly grocery order on repeat, meal planning at the weekend and only checking our email twice a day – and we may already be doing these things to streamline our lives.
Limiting the number of choices you are forced to make is great up to a point, but if you have a demanding job, a busy social life or are responsible for taking care of other people – children, parents and partners – there are only so many decisions you can sidestep.
So, what is it that makes some people confident decision makers, while others can’t order a meal in a restaurant without deliberating for half an hour, then changing their mind at the last minute?
Some of it comes down to personality: if you struggle with low self-esteem, you are likely to mistrust your instincts. Accepting that it’s inevitable you’ll make the wrong decision some of the time helps because, once you stop putting pressure on yourself to get everything right at every turn, decisions will be easier to make.
Your brain is your friend
Swart says that if you do face a big decision and struggle, then taking your time can help – but not necessarily in the way that you think. ‘With decision-making, in order to access the “default network” of the brain that supports lateral thinking and creativity, it’s important to let a decision germinate. It’s like planting a seed in your brain and leaving it there to develop. When I have a major decision to make, I plant the seed, then try not to ruminate on it. I often find that the decision comes to me after a day or two, often at a moment when my mind is at its most relaxed – on a walk or in the shower.’
The experts agree that the best decisions are based on a combination of gut feeling and logic. ‘Our brains spot parallels between the current decision and past choices and helps us work out which information is relevant now,’ says Swart. ‘There’s something called emotional “value tagging”, which acts like a fluorescent highlighter and gives you that intuitive, emotional feeling about a decision, at the same time as you are appraising the facts.’
But she points out that it’s helpful to be aware of the impact of your emotions on your decision-making, particularly if you tend to be led more by feelings than facts. ‘Once you become conscious of this, you can train yourself to think critically, rather than always going with your gut reaction,’ she adds. If you’ve got an important decision to make, Swart recommends writing down your
“We’ve all heard about tech CEOS living in a uniform of identical shirts and jeans, so they don’t have to waste brainpower dithering over picking a tie every morning”
thoughts because it helps separate your feelings from the facts and spot where you might be biased in one direction or another.
Fools rush in…
Rash, impulsive decisions are rarely the best, particularly if they’re made when we’re in an anxious or agitated state. When it comes to a weighty decision, John Paul Minda, a professor of psychology at the University of Western Ontario, says that running a final check, where you try to envisage unusual explanations and outcomes relating to your decision, is crucial. ‘It’s an idea that has been widely adopted in medicine, based around data that shows that even expert decision makers make mistakes when they don’t build in what we call “checks and balances”.’
Curiosity is key here: the ability to ask yourself why you’re feeling a particular way about something. Why don’t you want to apply for that job? Why are you convinced you won’t find love by dating online? Or that your new colleague won’t want to go for lunch with you? Asking yourself challenging questions might help you get to the bottom of what’s swaying you one way or another.
Prefer to defer?
Putting off the inevitable when it comes to decision-making is tempting. However, this can be paralysing, particularly if you’re the kind of person who puts pressure on yourself to get things right the first time. People don’t realise that pressure leads to procrastination. Try to remember the phrase ‘done is better than perfect’ and take the heat off yourself.
And set your alarm early: ‘When it comes to decision-making, the most energy-intensive part of the process for your brain is the decision itself. I recommend people make big decisions first thing in the morning when their cognitive resources are at their greatest, before attention has been scattered by the demands of the day,’ says Swart.
And, despite the lure of just getting it done, never make decisions in the middle of the night after hours of lying awake worrying.
“Ask yourself challenging questions to get to the bottom of what is swaying you one way or another”