Coaching exercises

Manage emotional spending

Do you shop online for items that you don’t want or need – things you sometimes don’t even get around to unpacking, wearing or using? Do you forget what you have ordered? Does spending give you an instant high and temporarily alleviate uncomfortable feelings, such as sadness or loneliness? We can all fall into this trap, but if this feels like a problem for you and you would like to manage your comfort spending, try the following approaches:

Ask yourself if you need it or want it. There is a difference! Before you buy, have a look around the house to see if you already have similar items.

Spend a day organising your possessions and clothes so you can easily see what you already have.

Wait for a day or two before clicking ‘buy’. Give yourself a cooling-off period.

Get your head out of the sand and look at your bank statements regularly.

Set yourself a monthly budget for spending. Make a list of other things you could do that will give you the same feelings you get from shopping.

Tell your friends what you are doing and ask for their support.

Think about where your spending could take you if you don’t make changes.

Get professional, specialist support if you cannot get your spending in check.

TREASURE MAP OF YOUR LIFE

Divide a sheet of paper into three sections. Imagine it is a treasure map. The left side of the map represents the land you are living in now. The right side of the map represents the land you would like to live in. Between the two lands is a river that you have to cross. Without thinking too hard, draw the land you are living in now. Use symbols, drawings or words to describe your current landscape.

Move over to your ideal landscape – the place you would like to be in. Fill this space with words, symbols and images that represent everything you would like to have in your life.

Look at the gap between the two lands. What is it made of? What is stopping you from getting from where you are to where you want to be? Use words, pictures and symbols to represent the obstacles you have to overcome. Now, draw a bridge that will get you across the gap. What is it made of? Who will help you cross from one land to the other?

When you have finished your map, write down what your first three steps are going to be and when you will take them.