Perfectionism

If perfectionism is your default mode, you may have always given more thought than most to how you come across to others, perhaps ruminating after social events about whether you said or did the right thing. In the age of social media, those with perfectionist tendencies also have a way to ‘compare and despair’ at their fingertips, fuelling social anxiety. Part of you may know that scrolling through aspirational images is undermining your confidence about your life – but it’s addictive and an easy way to numb yourself if you’re not feeling great. You may also put effort into posting carefully curated images, only to worry that the real you will disappoint.

Comparing yourself with others is a natural instinct that helps give us perspective on where we’re at and how we’re doing – but comparing yourself with people you wouldn’t normally come across in real life is rarely helpful, and it can instil the message that you’re not good enough or that you need to change how you live your life. Changing your relationship with yourself is the key to making socialising easier. Start by asking how different your life would be if you decided to accept and love yourself for who you are.