Work it out

A ‘relationship audit’ helps you to reflect on the quality of important relationships in your life.

Choose five or six people who are important to you. Now, for each person, score yourself (out of 10) on the following behaviours you show towards them:

● Being reliable and keeping commitments. If you say you are going to do something, do you?

● Being loyal and showing respect. If you are unhappy or upset with somebody, do you speak about them (to others) or to them (with honesty and respect)?

● Saying sorry. How readily do you apologise for mistakes you have made?

● Paying attention to the small courtesies. How often do you make kind gestures without expecting anything in return? Or express your gratitude and appreciation?

Add up your scores for each behaviour and put the overall score in the grid. What are your reflections on your behaviours in these relationships?

● Are there any patterns in your behaviours?

● Are your behaviours consistent across all the people?

● What changes or actions do you need to make?

Now flip it around. How do you think each of these people score with you on the behaviours? What further reflections or actions do you have?