SOCIAL ANXIETY
Social anxiety can massively affect our self-confidence. I’ve always struggled to speak up in social situations out of fear of saying something stupid or being judged, and, afterwards, I tend to over-analyse the conversation, sifting for evidence of my failings.
If you find yourself turning down social situations, picturing how you’ll spill your drink or worrying that you aren’t interesting enough, it may be that social anxiety is what’s affecting your selfconfidence. Or maybe you feel nervous in the run-up to a party or dinner with friends. You may find yourself over-thinking about the upcoming event, cancelling at the last minute because of your worries, or finding an excuse to leave early because you’re feeling overwhelmed.
‘We can talk ourselves out of things by imagining the worst-case scenarios,’ says Dr Trent. ‘And social anxiety can make us feel like we are at the centre of everybody’s focus; it can really over inflate. It can make us feel like it’s all about us. We can forget that people will generally be on our team and on our side, and will want good things for us, whereas we tend to be a little bit more negative in our predictions of how things will go down.’
When I ask about imposter syndrome, Dr Trent tells me about the idea of ‘Mount Stupid’. This is where the more time you spend doing something, such as your chosen career, the more you develop an increasing awareness of all the things you don’t know. This can lead to you feeling you aren’t an expert after all, that there are gaping gaps in your knowledge, which can knock your confidence. ‘But you forget to tune into the things that you do really well; the reasons that you get paid; the reasons why people want to be your friend; the reasons why people often ask for your advice,’ says Dr Trent.
To work out if imposter syndrome is affecting our selfconfidence, Dr Trent suggests we tune into the quality of the reasons we’re telling ourselves we can’t do something. She links imposter syndrome to perfectionism, with both having us doubt our abilities, even when there is evidence that we are more than capable.