I am loved

The biggest barrier to growing your self-confidence is fear of disapproval, which can manifest as people pleasing. People pleasing isn’t always as overt as saying yes to things you really want to say no to. Sometimes it just means you let things go that niggle you, for the sake of keeping the peace. Do people think you’re more laid-back than you really are? Those with a vocal inner critic tend to have a heightened sensitivity to being judged by others, which may explain your default response of putting other people’s feelings before your own.

You’re probably well aware of your tendency to be hard on yourself but may not have linked it with your limited self-belief – some of us still hold onto the misguided belief that it brings out the best in us. The truth is, it’s like installing an inner bully that constantly chips away at your self-belief, calling into question that most crucial of core beliefs – that you are loved and lovable. Try approaching your relationships – and the choices you make – while holding in mind your mantra, ‘I am loved’, and then watch your self-confidence blossom. It’s time to start loving yourself, and treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you show others.