Drive Me Crazy
WHY couldn’t your sister take a taxi?” Tanino grumbled as he drove down the motorway.
“It’s my pleasure and my duty to pick up my sister when she’s come all the way from Scotland.”
“It might be your pleasure, but it’s not you doing it.”
Melina crossed her arms. “It’s not my fault I didn’t pass my driving test.”
“It surely wasn’t for lack of trying,” he agreed.
Melina had attempted her driving test more times than she could count on two hands.
She pursed her lips.
“You just don’t like my sister.”
“It’s nothing to do with your sister. I just don’t like parking at the airport since they’ve put up paying barriers everywhere.”
The barriers had come in more than 10 years before. Surely Tanino had had plenty of time to get used to them.
“What’s the problem with paying a few euros?”
“It’s the principle. Parking at the airport was free before. I remember taking our nephews to watch the aeroplanes.
“Back then, you could park right up to the metal fence if you wanted to, and nobody asked you anything.
“Now it costs an arm and a leg. It’s the principle!”
Melina wasn’t convinced by Tanino’s moral high ground.
Years before, he had tried to park in the car park and use the payment machine.
For some reason it hadn’t worked and they were stuck between the barrier and a queue of cars until an agitated attendant came to rescue them.
That incident must have traumatised him, but giving up wasn’t the solution.
Melina looked with envy at the other cars slipping effortlessly in and out of the pay car park.
“Can you call your sister and ask her to ring you when she’s out?” Tanino stopped the car just after the taxi line.
“I’m not calling her: she might be going through passport control or Customs.”
Disturbing Cetta wasn’t Melina’s only concern. The truth was that she hadn’t yet become familiar enough with her new mobile phone to be able to initiate a call.
She knew how to answer one and how to ring back the last number that had called her, but calling someone from her address book was uncharted territory.
Plus, for nothing in the world would Melina miss the teary-eyed moment her sister emerged from the exit gate.
Melina would push past the crowd of waiting families and rush to hug Cetta.
Her idea of welcoming her sister back to the homeland was a very different affair from Tanino’s plan of bundling her into the car with the engine still running, then dashing off.
It was as far from a romantic reunion as a kidnap.
“We can’t wait here.” Tanino pointed to a blue and red sign with a cross. “If the traffic wardens come, they can fine us up to five hundred euros! How many taxis would that buy?”
“You and your taxis. All right, I’m going to get her.”
Before Tanino replied, Melina stormed out of the car and strutted into the arrivals hall.
****
The board showed that the Glasgow flight had landed. Melina’s heart started beating faster.
She pushed her way to the front of the barrier, but near the edge so that she could slip out and hug her sister as soon as she emerged.
Each time the doors slid open and somebody came out, Melina’s heart leapt.
She had asked Cetta what she would be wearing and she knew to look out for a blu coat.
People came out and disappeared into the crowds, but her sister wasn’t there.
Any moment now, she told herself, ever more excited. Then someone touched her shoulder.
“Hello, sister! Have I changed so much that you don’t recognise me?” A baffled Melina was enveloped in a sisterly hug.
She was supposed to rush up to Cetta and sweep her off her feet before all the waiting families! How could she have missed her?
Ah! She was wearing a raincoat the colour of a Sicilian summer sky.
“But you’re wearing a celeste raincoat, not a blu coat!” Melina protested.
“Did I tell you blu? Sorry, I got muddled up. Both celeste and blu are called blue in English.
“Would you mind if I popped to the loo? Does Tanino still get stressed out about the parking?”
“Don’t worry about him,” Melina replied, and to make up for her underwhelming welcome performance, she added, “After you’ve been to the loo, I’ll offer you a Sicilian coffee.”
“But is Tanino waiting outside?”
“Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.”
****
Tanino wasn’t fine. He kept his eyes glued to the rear-view mirror, heart thumping in his chest, looking out for traffic wardens.
How long was Melina making him wait?
The traffic warden must have sneaked out on him from the terminal building, because Tanino jumped out of his skin when she tapped on his window.
He didn’t even lower the window, but glanced at her with horrified eyes and shot off in a panic.
He drove aimlessly for a bit, drenching his shirt in cold sweat, until he realised that unless he took a turning, any turning, he would end up on the motorway.
He swerved on to the first slip road and found himself in front of a hotel.
Ah, finally a car park without pay barriers!
Tanino glided into a comfortable car park and sighed with relief. Then his eyes spotted a sign which read, Customer parking only. Fine 500 euros.
He groaned. What should he do?
Luckily, he had an idea. He was desperate for a coffee and the hotel was sure to have a bar.
He locked the car and walked into the hotel.
****
“This is exactly where I left him! Why isn’t he here?” Melina was incredulous.
She didn’t believe in traffic wardens any more than she believed in monsters under the bed.
Instead, the way she had stormed out of the car made her suspect that Tanino had taken a little revenge and driven off to give her a scare.
“He’ll come back,” Cetta said placidly. “What did you agree?”
“Nothing. I just left him here.”
“Then maybe you should call him.”
“Me? Er, could you call him?”
“I don’t have an Italian SIM card. Haven’t you got your phone with you?”
“Yes, but I have a little trouble using it,” Melina confessed.
Cetta shook her head, smiling.
“Let me show you.”
****
The smell of warm butter sneaked into Tanino’s nostrils and played havoc in there.
After the bitter coffee, his taste buds demanded one of the pastries resting on the bar’s counter.
He was about to whip out his wallet and buy one when his phone rang.
“Tanino? Where are you?” Melina’s voice echoed in the empty room through the mobile phone’s tiny speaker.
For some reason, she only shouted when talking on mobile phones, not on landlines.
“I’m . . .” He stopped. Could he really say “sitting on a bar stool in a hotel, having coffee and a pastry?”
“I’m nearby,” he amended. “Where are you?”
“Waiting for you.” He sighed. He wouldn’t be getting a pastry after all.
“On my way,” he said, then ended the call, as he suspected that Melina didn’t know how to.
****
A delicious smell followed Melina and Cetta into the car.
After the compulsory kisses and compliments, Tanino eyed the parcel that rested on Cetta’s knees. It was almost pulsating with the buttery fragrance.
She caught his line of sight.
“While we were waiting for you, we went back into the terminal and bought some pastries. Would you like one?”
Tanino grinned.
“You bet.”
The End.