Ups And Downs

An eccentric father stars in this sparkling short story by Penelope Alexander.

FANCY the carousel, Nina Rainbow?” Sean asked. He pushed his hair from his kind face, grinning. I was standing in the middle of the fairground, my toes clenched. To me, those looming horsemonsters were nothing less than terrifying.

“Nina?” Sean asked again patiently.

We’ve not been together long, but he understands. Merry-go-round, roundabout or carousel, it makes no difference.

They remind me all too painfully of the ups and downs of life with Mum – and, even more, with my dear dad.

“I prefer the hoop-la!” I cried, tugging Sean away. ****

Dad always loved carousels, though that’s the only similarity between Sean and my larger-thanlife father, Gil Rainbow.

“Up you go!” Dad would say, using the voice that effortlessly reached the back stalls of any theatre he ever worked in.

I never wanted to disappoint him, so I’d cling on to the horse-monster and close my eyes.

“Wasn’t that wonderful?” he’d ask afterwards.

“Yes,” I’d gasp.

Dad never guessed I was laughing from relief, not enjoyment.

My brother, Jason, and I had realised there was trouble looming between Dad and Mum long before they did.

When Dad’s agent found him an acting part with the Heventhorp company, we weren’t surprised Mum suggested a separation.

“A summertime arrangement only,” she told us, grown up by then, smiling.

So while Dad remained near us in Norfolk, she went ahead with her planned trip to Cornwall.

At the time, busy with rehearsals, Dad seemed fine. But on the first night of “Much Ado” he was floored. Literally.

“I had to be carried off stage!” he cried, waving his arms.

“You stumbled, Dad,” I replied. “That’s all.”

He glared, as if being in the audience meant I couldn’t possibly know what happened.

“Look how your theatre friends rallied round,” I continued.

“It was sad all the family couldn’t be there. But living with you can be difficult at times.”

“As far as my family is concerned, I can never live up to my onstage heroes,” Dad whispered wretchedly.

Despite his usual overreaction, I felt sorry for him.

“You have such gifts,” I whispered.

He accepted my sympathy, sighed, then threw off his low mood faster than a Frisbee.

“You’ll be glad to know I’m employing a housekeeper this summer,” he told me.

“Living in?” I asked. “Certainly not,” my father said, shocked.

I’d overstepped the mark. I should have remembered Dad was a stickler for the proprieties.

On my next visit to Dad, Amanda the housekeeper opened the door, brandishing a mop handle like a wand, and wearing a spotted headscarf over her curly light-brown hair.

“You must be Nina!” We gazed at each other like startled creatures meeting at a deep pool.

She wasn’t at all glamorous, which was a surprise.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said.

Amanda’s smile lit up her face.

“Likewise. Don’t worry, I’ll be off just as soon as we’ve had supper,” she added, pulling the door wide.

I went into the kitchen and realised Dad was out.

As if she’d read my mind, Amanda popped her head round the door again.

“I sent him for milk,” she explained, before vanishing.

I lowered my bag to the table, wondering if she’d used magic.

Dad had been known to drink black tea and eat dry cereal rather than run errands.

“Maybe there’s more to you than meets the eye, dear Amanda,” I muttered. I looked around.

A neat, glossy pot plant decorated the window-sill, clean towels hung on the

Spending time with Dad was like being on a carousel!

rail and there was no trace of washing-up anywhere.

Amanda finished mopping, and between hot tea and biscuits she politely quizzed me about my life.

I found myself telling her about my lovely Sean.

“He’s not quite welcome here yet,” I said carefully.

“Dad’s convinced our relationship won’t last, and says keeping aloof will save on heartache.”

“Fancy Gil missing out on getting to know someone so nice,” Amanda said.

“Perhaps it’s understandable at the moment that your father feels nothing’s for ever.”

“Since my mother left, you mean?”

“I don’t mean to pry, Nina,” Amanda said quietly. “But yes.”

Amanda was clearly a lovely person. If I wasn’t careful I’d be telling this fairy godmother my life story.

“Never mind about your dad for the minute,” she continued, eyes twinkling.

“The point is, how do you feel about Sean – and your father?”

I couldn’t help myself. “Sean? I’d love Dad to meet him,” I said in a rush.

“Then we must arrange it,” Amanda said, beaming. ****

Amanda brought a lazy Susan to grace the table that evening. Dad loved gadgets.

“The platter revolves, so you can reach everything from the centre without stretching,” Amanda said, dishing up supper.

“A carousel,” Dad said, whisking the tomato sauce towards him, then chuckling as he turned it back.

I clutched the bottle, worrying it might fall.

“I was just thinking . . .” Amanda began in a lilting, future-planning kind of voice. “Will you be having a family gathering for your birthday, Gil? I’d love to help out.”

Dad’s birthday. The big six-oh. I’d quite forgotten.

“Can’t be done,” Dad said. “I’m in ‘Hamlet’ that week.”

“That’ll be finished by the

Saturday,” Amanda pointed out.

“Hamlet?” I asked him weakly, imagining my father in blond wig and tights, Ophelia on his arm.

“The ghost,” he said, quickly putting me right. “Mist on the ancient battlements and all that.” He turned to Amanda. “A party, you say?”

“Well, of course,”

Amanda said, sweeping our plates from the table.

The lazy Susan suddenly jinked and threw off the salt and pepper.

In a daze, I caught both and set them upright.

I had a feeling the Rainbow carousel had just taken another turn. But for better or worse?

Amanda whispered in my ear before she left.

“I’ll arrange things, partywise, if you’ll persuade the family to come,” she said. “It’ll do your father so much good!”

“My brother and his wife plan to visit in a few months to show off their new baby. I’ll ring them,” I said. “But I don’t think . . .”

I hesitated. It occurred to me it might be best if Mum didn’t come.

“Never say never,” Amanda trilled happily.

I drove home a worried woman. ****

Sean took one look at me on my return to our flat and suggested we eat out.

It wasn’t until we were halfway through a delicious lasagne that I relaxed.

“What’s your father planning this time?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“For once, it’s not Dad. It’s Amanda! She imagines we’ll all play happy families on his birthday.

“At first I thought it would be wonderful to have everyone together. Now I’m afraid the family fireworks might dwarf Vesuvius.”

“Will I come?” Sean asked.

My fork clattered to my plate.

“No! I want you to meet Dad when things are calmer,” I explained. “He’s getting along with Amanda like a house on fire, and I can’t see either sense or kindness in poor Mum rushing home to put it out!”

Tomato sauce had flicked vermilion spots all over my cream blouse.

“Oh, can’t anything go right?” I wailed.

“Poor Nina,” Sean said. He reached for my hand. “Dad’s been far more manageable since Amanda arrived,” I said, taking a steadying breath.

“Perhaps it would be a good time for you to meet after all.

“I can’t continue to leave you every weekend just to keep an eye on Dad. It’s not fair.”

“OK,” Sean agreed. “Get me an invitation and I’ll come.” ****

Dad rang for a long chat one evening, in which he told me – boasted, even – what an excellent chef he’d become.

The partnership with Amanda was clearly going from good to better.

“Cheese straws!” he bellowed down the line. “Amanda says mine are amazing!”

“Did she help you?” I asked.

“Of course,” Dad replied happily. “A wonderful woman . . .”

His words faded as if he’d gulped for breath.

“You OK, Dad?”

“As you can hear, my dear child, my mood is very up and down.

“I can’t help recalling another wonderful woman, sadly not here at the moment. Have you heard from your mother, by the way?”

“She was fine when we spoke on the phone yesterday,” I told him.

“Full of ideas. Something about opening a wool shop slash art gallery in Newquay.”

“I believe Prudence has no idea how her departure has affected me,” Dad said miserably.

“I’m hoping I’ll see her on my birthday.

“It’s unlikely, I know, but . . .”

His call ended with the predictable heavy sigh.

I chucked my mobile on to a chair.

“Why is it always about him? No interest in Mum’s success!” I howled. “I hope she doesn’t go anywhere near his party!”

I buried my head in a cushion and sobbed.

“It’s not your fault, Nina,” Sean told me, gathering me into his arms. “Trust your mother. She’ll know the best thing to do.”

The partnership with Amanda was clearly going from good to better

“Half of me wants them together again, Sean, but fat chance!” I wailed, swiping each eye in turn with the clutch of tissues he’d handed me.

“I’m a sentimental fool.” “That’s why I love you,” Sean reminded me. ****

Amanda had a well of do-gooding energy, which against all the odds was rubbing off on Dad.

I ought to have been pleased, and to a degree I was. But I was also unsettled.

“I’m sure Dad’s bewitched,” I remarked to Sean as we came out of the supermarket with our Friday shopping bulging in carriers.

Unfortunately, my words caused him to stop dead in the revolving doors and I was thrown off balance by the next swing around.

The resulting kerfuffle needed time to sort out.

“Your dad’s what?” Sean asked, helping me with one hand and capturing an escaping tin of beans with the other.

“Under a spell. He’s always run shrieking from anyone as earnest as Amanda before this.” I brushed down my jeans. “He’s so good at acting, Sean, sometimes he convinces himself.”

“It’s none of your business if he gets along with Amanda,

or if he doesn’t,” Sean said, freeing his hands and placing them on either side of my face to kiss me.

I nodded, of course, but I was still worried.

Mostly about phoning Mum in case I let slip anything I wasn’t supposed to. ****

As it happened, Mum rang me.

“I’ve had a reminder of your father’s birthday party,” she said as soon as I took the call, and my heart sank.

“Unfortunately, I may have a business meeting on that day, Nina.”

My spirits rose again. “We’ll be sorry not to see you, Mum.”

Not to mention mightily relieved.

There was a chance after all that Mum wouldn’t be playing gooseberry.

By now, Jason, his wife and their baby were staying in Norfolk for a couple of weeks, giving me an early chance to meet my gorgeous nephew.

Baby Gil bounced engagingly on my knee while I talked to Jason.

“Libby’s keen to visit Dad,” my brother said. “So we’ll be at the party.

“After all, we don’t want the kid to grow up knowing only one set of grandparents.”

“Sean’s been invited, too, you’ll be pleased to hear,” I informed him.

“About time,” Jason said. “It looks as if this Amanda is the right person for getting everyone together, doesn’t it? Perhaps Mum, too?”

“Mmm,” I said. For the life of me I still couldn’t make up my mind if Mum should be there or not. ****

The weather was perfect. Even Dad’s chunky little brick-and-flint house looked good beneath the blue sky.

Amanda and an army of Dad’s fans and helpers had dressed the garden to look like an ocean liner leaving on an exciting voyage.

It was full of fluttering streamers, multi-coloured bunting, banners and balloons saying Happy Sixtieth, Gil Rainbow! in swirling patterns.

We arrived with Jason and family, with the smell of delicious food to entice us through the open door.

“Welcome, Nina,” Dad called, sweeping towards us in an immaculately casual ensemble.

He slipped a cloth from his tray to reveal cheese straws.

“Made them myself,” he said, beaming like a lighthouse.

Even when he caught sight of Sean he didn’t miss a beat.

“Good to meet you at last,” he said, putting down the tray and shaking Sean’s hand. “What’s taken you so long?”

If Dad noticed our mouths agape at this point, he ignored them.

“Have you met my namesake, young Gil?” he continued, unabashed.

Then he was off, laughing, joking and scattering pastries, leaving Sean and me slightly winded.

“Well, that’s the initial awkwardness over with,” I said dryly. “Don’t worry. You get used to him!”

It suddenly felt right that Mum had been wise enough to stay away.

I took a deep breath, determined to enjoy the afternoon.

Amanda had banished her dowdy image in the most amazing violet dress, teamed with immaculately styled hair and silver sandals.

She was the ideal hostess, circulating constantly, making certain every guest felt special.

Discreet music played and the sun shone.

Only a couple of the puffiest white clouds hovered far off over the horizon.

It was Sean who alerted me. A crunch of gravel and a slamming car door announced the arrival of a late guest.

“Once I realised it was you who sent that invitation,” Mum said to Amanda, her eyes alight, “wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”

As she turned from greeting Jason, Libby and the baby, she hugged me with an unfathomable expression on her beautiful face.

I still feared family fireworks at that point.

Astonishingly, Amanda held out her arms in welcome.

“Prudence, my dear,” I heard her cry as they embraced. “Long time, no see.”

“Too long, if you ask me.” My mother was dressed in a simple cream trouser suit and looked stunning.

At a nod from Amanda, she moved to the centre of the garden.

Every gaze settled on her.

The crowded guests grew more still by degrees until, inevitably, Dad was the only one speaking.

His deep voice dwindled as he realised his audience’s attention had been drawn elsewhere. Then he turned. “Prudence?” He spoke gently, but we all heard him.

As he strolled towards Mum, they continued to gaze into each other’s eyes.

A low babble of talk resumed around them.

“Have you decided you can’t do without me?” Dad asked.

He carried an overdecorated plate bearing a crumbled cheese straw as if it were a shield.

“I’d heard the opposite,” Mum replied steadily. “It’s you who couldn’t do without me. Amanda is a very old friend and kept me informed.”

My father said nothing. Swallowing, he put down the plate and took Mum in his arms.

There was clearly love in their mutual gaze. Since

I’ve met Sean, I can’t mistake it.

I heaved an enormous sigh that turned into a sob.

But my next thought was for poor Amanda.

As usual, in Dad’s all-or-nothing world, there was no place for an alsoran.

I turned to find his loyal housekeeper beside me, wearing a smile like the

Cheshire Cat’s.

“Things have worked out perfectly, Nina,” she whispered. “Now, as your family’s fairy godmother, I need your help in clearing this lot.”

Dazed, I ferried plates, glasses, plastic forks and trays of sandwiches back to the kitchen.

Then Libby pushed my nephew into my arms while she nipped to the loo.

As I jiggled young Gil in my arms and showed him the garden flowers, there was time to mull over the recent past.

Far from being a danger to the family, Amanda had somehow drawn my parents together again.

“Gil has agreed to leave Heventhorp at the end of this season and move west with me,” Mum told me, wrapping both me and little Gil in a warm hug.

Dad soon joined us.

“My, doesn’t this baby look every bit as handsome as his grandfather?” he demanded, but his voice was joking and gentle.

I knew they’d be all right from now on.

****

Days later, a fair appeared on the grassy common near our seaside flat.

Fairy lights twinkled in the dusk, and music could be heard along the warm promenade.

We watched the children, shrieking with happiness, while hurtling about on a huge bouncy castle, amid wafts of frying, vinegar and candy-floss.

Sean had just finished a huge raspberry ice-lolly, throwing the stick into a bin as we passed.

“I wonder if there’s a merry-go-round?” he asked, tenting his eyes against the the setting sun. He took my hand.

“Come on, Nina! It’ll be fun . . .”

But I was already laughing and running for the nearest painted pony.

That evening, the ups and downs of a carousel weren’t going to bother this particular Rainbow at all.

The End.