Pineapple Of My Eye

Pineapples are a traditional housewarming present, but rather than donning my Man from Del Monte cream suit and hand-delivering Tesco’s juiciest specimen to new homeowners, I send them Bloom & Wild’s delightful miniature version instead (my brother-in-law is taking his pineapple cultivation so seriously that I’ve heard rumours of a special heat lamp). You can also grow your own using the spiky crown of a shop-bought one – the Gardeners’ World website has step-by-step instructions – but it can take three years to bear fruit, so don’t start mixing those piña coladas just yet . . .

Pineapple plant, £40, www.bloomandwild.com