Something New

After Tansy was jilted on her wedding day, Bel was determined to give her a fresh start!

TANSY, today you are going to make a new start!” Although this announcement was accompanied by a tray of toast and coffee and a cheeky grin, there was no doubt Bel meant business.

“Says who?” Tansy’s pale face peered out from under the duvet.

“Says your big sister,” Bel replied firmly. “It’s been three weeks and you’re still hiding yourself away.

“Plus, I’m spending a fortune on tissues.”

Tansy managed a weak smile and pulled herself up against the pillows.

“You’ve been my rock, and I’ll never be able to repay you for keeping me going, but –”

“No buts. By the time I get home you need to have made an effort.

“Clean hair, lipstick and a pretty outfit.

“You’ve got loads to choose from over there.”

Bel pointed at the two suitcases in the corner.

“It’s time they were sorted,” she added. “I want ideas about what you might do next.

“You are good at organising people. Now it’s time to focus on yourself.”

Tansy heard the door close as Bel left for work.

She dutifully ate the toast then sank back against the pillows, clutching the comforting coffee.

But now that Bel had brought them to mind, her eyes kept straying towards the suitcases.

Two suitcases, new and pristine, because although they’d been lovingly packed, they’d been destined not to travel anywhere.

Tansy dabbed her eyes. Her whole life had disappeared. She was unwanted and unloved.

She was about to dive under the duvet again when there was a ping on her phone. Get out of bed! Tansy smiled wanly. She knew that she wasn’t really unloved.

She still had her parents, who rang or called in most evenings, and a host of friends who sent encouraging messages. Then there was Bel.

Bel had taken charge, brought her back to her own flat, and set about cancelling all of the arrangements Tansy had made over the last year.

It took me that long to arrange everything, Tansy thought, yet it had only taken Bel a few hours to unravel all the beautiful threads she and Dan had woven to make a romantic, picture-book wedding.

A wedding day perfect in every way . . .

Except that it had been a wedding without a groom!

Tansy threw off the duvet as despair swept over her for the umpteenth time.

“Jilted on my wedding day,” she muttered as she paced around Bel’s spare room.

How could a nice person like Dan inflict such terrible hurt?

How could he leave it till the very last minute? Had she missed vital signals?

Tansy had been asking these questions over and over again, but still had no answer.

Abruptly she came to a halt in front of the suitcases.

Tansy had imagined unpacking them in a room overlooking white sands and palm trees.

Instead, untouched and unneeded, her honeymoon wardrobe lay locked away.

“Probably for ever!”

Tansy exclaimed.

“Or maybe I should hand it to a charity shop just as it is. Suitcase and clothes.”

That idea rather appealed to her.

Other girls could then enjoy its contents.

They could parade in the glamorous garments in front of their husbands.

The contents of the larger case, however, were a different matter.

Those things had been crammed in, ready to take to her new life with Dan in the next county, miles from her home town.

“No job, no home.” The realisation jolted Tansy.

She’d left her flat share and resigned from her job in readiness for a new life.

Until now her thoughts had all been occupied with the misery of no Dan and no wedding, but looming on the horizon now was the fact that she was jobless and homeless.

“How am I going to keep myself in boxes of tissues?” Tansy whispered, repeating Bel’s joke.

****

She wasn’t feeling much better that afternoon as she unlocked the larger case and opened it up.

“I’ll be in trouble if I don’t make a start,” she told herself, choosing trousers and tops at random to hang on the rail, and stuffing underwear in the drawer of the bedside table.

Eyeing the rest of the contents helplessly, she decided there was no room to unpack it all.

She would have to live out of the case for now.

That’s one decision made, Tansy encouraged herself. Maybe she’d get the laptop going and make notes about where she could go from here.

That was a mistake.

Just by pressing a few keys, she brought up pages of wedding plans, and everything she had sourced and decided would go towards making their perfect wedding.

It would all have to be deleted, but she couldn’t face it right now.

Also on the laptop, read a hundred times but still not understood, was the only communication she had had from Dan.

She couldn’t stop her fingers from bringing that on to the screen.

I know that an apology isn’t enough, but that’s all I can offer.

You are the only girl I’ve ever loved, but I can’t face marriage and was too weak to admit it until now.

Maybe I shall never get married. Maybe I can’t face up to commitment.

I’m as appalled by my behaviour as everybody else is.

Please forget me and start again.

It would be easier, she thought, if she could feel anger towards him, but there was nothing except an overwhelming sadness, because Dan was obviously fighting demons of his own.

Resolutely, Tansy fetched her briefcase from the bedroom.

This bit was easy.

All those wedding brochures, leaflets and magazines could be tipped straight into the recycling bin.

****

“There, Bel,” Tansy declared when her sister got home that afternoon. “I’ve followed your instructions. Kind of,” she amended.

Bel glanced around. “That’s a start, Tansy. Coffee and biccies first, then we need to talk.” Tansy’s heart sank.

“I’m just being constructive.” Bel grinned as she ate a chocolate digestive.

“Do you have any ideas about where you go from here?”

Tansy shook her head. “Not to worry,” Bel went on. “I’ve been doing some thinking for you.”

Tansy tried to appear suitably grateful.

“What are you good at?” Tansy shrugged.

“Not much at the moment, Bel,” she replied.

“I mean, what are your job skills?” Bel asked patiently.

She paused, but Tansy only shook her head again.

“OK, I’ll tell you. You are excellent with people.” Bel itemised her skills on her fingers. “You’re a whizz with computers.

“You have a good eye for detail, a natural flair for colour and design, and you are a good organiser. All that backed up by relevant exams.”

Tansy was looking sceptical.

“Not to mention that flower-arranging course you took,” Bel continued.

“When you make an effort, you can look quite elegant.”

“Are you suggesting I try to get my old job back?” Tansy asked tentatively.

“Well, that’s a possibility. But this is an opportunity to be imaginative – to turn in a completely different direction.”

Bel made a sweeping gesture, her arm just missing her coffee mug.

“And I reckon I’ve found something that fits the bill.”

Bel always had over-thetop ideas, Tansy thought resignedly.

What was it going to be this time?

Bel thrust a magazine into her hand, and she realised with horror that her normally thoughtful sister had gone way over the top.

Tansy flung it down on the floor as if it had burned her fingers.

“How could you?” she shouted. “Have you gone mad?”

From the carpet, the bride on the cover of the magazine stared up at Tansy.

She burst into tears and made for her bedroom, but Bel caught her arm.

“Hear me out,” she ordered firmly. “There is method in my madness!

“In fact, you’ve just proved that my idea is the right one.”

Tansy stared at her sister in disbelief, but allowed herself to be pulled back to the sofa.

“You can’t go on freaking out at the mention of weddings, brides or honeymoons.

“We can’t keep pussyfooting around you, trying to remember that any topic like that is taboo.”

Bel paused.

“We start by surrounding you in weddings. Other people’s weddings.

“It’s the psychological approach,” she explained.

“Like getting back on a horse straight after a fall.”

“And,” she went on when Tansy seemed incapable of saying anything, “I bought this mag in my lunch hour to find out about wedding planners.

“What’s more,” she finished triumphantly, “I found the website of the nearest one and they are advertising for a new staff member to join their team.”

Still Tansy was silent. “Your qualifications are good and you’ve acquired hands-on experience over the last few months.

“This could be your way out of this whole sorry affair.”

Bel leaned forward and clasped Tansy’s hands.

“All I’m asking is for you to think seriously about it. You have to meet traumas head on.”

****

All through supper and some crazy programme that Bel was addicted to, Tansy kept thinking.

It was only when she was propped up in bed, with the suitcases back in their corner, that the first glimmer of something positive filtered through her foggy brain.

“It is well-known advice to get back on a horse,” she mused.

“In theory it should work for other things.”

She forced herself to change that word “things”.

“Weddings,” she whispered with a shudder.

Then her mind started wandering.

“Poor Dan . . .”

Before her thoughts could become bogged down in misery again, she leaped out of bed, grabbed her laptop and settled back against the pillows.

There was nothing to lose by filling in the application. Bel’s idea was worth a try.

It wouldn’t take away her heartache, but Tansy had enough common sense to realise that avoiding all mention of marriage and weddings would make life impossible for herself and her family and friends.

The next morning, Tansy

Tansy’s normally thoughtful sister had gone way over the top

peeped round Bel’s door, carrying mugs of their favourite fruit infusion.

“Hi, Bel.” She managed a jokey smile.

“Do you think the pay for that job would keep me in tissues?”

“Does that mean that you’ve applied?” Bel bounced out of her bed. “Good for you.

“Here’s to a new start,” she continued. “Whatever it turns out to be.”

As they clunked their mugs together, Tansy felt a glimmer of hope.

“To a new start,” she echoed. ■