Keeping your friendships alive

Carole Ann recommends these strategies to keep the closeness

Get the diary out

I am a great believer in checking the next three to four weeks and making firm arrangements to spend time with the friends who matter. Faraway friends will need more advance planning if you are to get together at least once or twice a year.

Fire off a quick message

It only takes a moment to send a text message asking, ‘How did your tests go?’ or ‘Feeling OK about the interview?’ It’s often more convenient than calling, and it still shows you care.

Relish diversity

I catch up with one friend as we wander around Kew Gardens, then there’s the Prosecco friend, the one I’m likely to download to, the one who’s a chef and loves to try out her dishes… everyone brings something different, and the way we enjoy each other’s company differs too.

Had a fallout?

It can be terribly hurtful if a friend has gone cold on you. There’s a sense of grief, almost like a bereavement. If you have shared confidences, there can be a loss of trust, too. Meet for coffee and try to find out what’s going on – I’m a real believer in holding out the olive branch if the friendship really matters. If it seems unfixable, focus instead on other connections that bring positivity to your life.