‘I find time on my own empowering’

TARA MUNRO, 49, runs Ooh La La Vintage. She is separated from her husband and lives alone in

Margate. Her sons live with their father in Paris.

‘I met my husband, Laurent, when I was 28. I was living in London, he in Paris. My career was going from strength to strength, but I knew I wanted a family with him so decided to move to Paris. We had two sons together – he worked and I was at home with our children. I began to grieve what I’d left behind as he wasn’t interested in a life outside our habitual routine. I’d never felt lonely until then.

In 2018, I made the decision to leave Laurent. My opportunities were back in England, so I moved to Margate. My sons, now 13 and 17, had their life in France so they still live there. It was heartbreaking to leave them, but it was the best thing for their education and friendships. I see them regularly.

Since separating, I’ve realised I was lonely because I didn’t have enough opportunity to be sociable, but my daily life didn’t give me the quality

alone-time that I know I need. When I’m in company, I put my own needs aside and lose my sense of self. As I approach 50, I’ve learnt to listen to my own needs. The thing I’m now most selfish about is my need for space.

As an only child, I was happy alone. Now I’ve relearnt that skill and have accepted being alone means facing up to things I may not be comfortable with. As a mum and wife, I moulded into what everyone wanted of me; now I connect with myself better. I work in London as a vintage fashion specialist and often stay with friends there. I love returning to Margate – my flat by the sea is my haven of peace and space.

My split from Laurent has taught me the difference between being lonely and being alone. I’m now happy being alone as I know I’m loved by friends and family. I find time on my own empowering. It calms my mind and gives me space to be creative. I take art classes and sing with a gospel choir. Both give me so much happiness. I hope this has had a positive impact on my children as I’m a more well-rounded mother when we are together. Time alone has given me the chance to be appreciative of the good things I have.’ ✢ oohlalavintage.com