First For Women

ASK: WHO IS THIS REALLY ABOUT?

It colors your world

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An afternoon slump strikes, and it has you viewing everyone with suspicion. (You just know Susan in Accounting has it out for you, along with that guy who cut you off in traffic.) “You don’t always identify a negative emotion as your own feeling. Sometimes you embed it in your perception of a person (like, That guy is a jerk),” explains Barrett. “When you’re feeling negative, it’s easier for the brain to go from one bad thought to another, and soon the whole world is tinged with gray.”

When your mood starts coloring your entire outlook and you’re caught in a negative-thought spiral, claim ownership of the crummy feeling—experts say doing so will help you feel better faster. “Recognize that the emotion is yours, that you’re the one feeling it,” says Wegela. Once you remove other people from the equation, you’re no longer a victim. You’re able to face the feeling head-on and come up with strategies for relief. You might realize, for example, that you’re not scheduling enough self-care into your day and a little pampering (massaging your temples, calling a loved one) makes all the difference. “If you own the emotion, you can do something with it,” says Wegela, “You have choices of how to respond and you’re no longer stuck.”

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