Silence your inner critic

Experts reveal strategies for silencing your deceptive inner critic to better discern the joyful truth: that you’re wonderful just as you are!

You’re thrilled to be hosting Thanksgiving dinner—until you realize that you’ve left the turkey in the oven too long, and it’s now as dry as the Sahara Desert. Well, this year is a failure…I’m a failure, you sigh to yourself, despite your family’s rave reviews of your delicious sides and lovely handmade centerpieces. “We, as women, are naturally conditioned to motivate ourselves through self-judgment, but many of the things our inner critics tell us—like that we’re not good enough or competent enough—simply aren’t true,” reveals Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of The Inner Bonding Workbook. In fact, she adds, we tend to believe many negative, untrue things about ourselves that we’d never consider believing about other people. “This leads to a vicious cycle of guilt, anxiety and stress.”

How to debunk these counterproductive untruths? Pay attention to red-flag feelings. “Toxic emotions like anxiety, stress and depression actually aren’t responses to a situation, but to something we’re telling ourselves about that situation,” says Paul. “In other words, they’re signals that we’re being too hard on ourselves.” But when we feel calm and happy—despite challenges we may be facing—we know that we’re anchored in our truth and supporting ourselves with the kindness we need to thrive.

Here, top experts share empowering ways to unleash the positive, selfcompassionate feelings that act as inner lie detectors and instantly silence our critics. The result: more confidence, peace and joy…and that’s the truth!