SORRY – THIS IS NOT REAL WORK
TV here I come! Stick to what you’re good at!
I’M considering going blonde. I’ve always been a brunette but I fancy a bit of a change. What do you think? To dye or not? Do blondes have more fun? Tweet me @linsey_dawn. I CAN’T wait until the Shafta Adult awards on March 15 and I’ve been asked to present one. I’m also looking forward to meeting my fellow columnist Frankie Cocozza there. Bet you I can drink him under the table! WHY is everyone bleating on about how wonderful Amanda Holden is for going back to ‘work’ on
Am I missing something? She sits on a chair and listens to people singing. She’s not going down a mine for 12 hours, working in a sweatshop in India or finding a cure for cancer.
I nearly spat out my poached egg on toast on Sunday morning when I read Simon Cowell’s interview about how ‘incredible’ she was.
Fair enough, I accept she was very poorly after giving birth but this is something that happens to a lot of women.
Making Amanda into some kind of saint for going back to her cushy job after two weeks is just ridiculous.
She goes to work on a talent show where she is treated like royalty. And as for Simon going on about all he’s doing for Britain – what a load of crap!
He f***ed off to America and ruined X Factor. He’s too busy trying to carve a career for himself over there. I don’t think he gives a toss about Britain. I’VE been reading my rival Jordan’s column with interest since she’s joined the Sun on Sunday.
I think it’s a right load of old tripe. I mean it’s so boring, not the kind of stuff you’d expect her to write!
At least when you read my column you know that I’m on your wavelength.
I think The Sun have just taken her on so all her fans will buy the paper.
It was also interesting to read that she’s dropped Amy Willerton, the girl who she found on her search for a model, like a hot potato.
That show was the worst thing she ever did – as soon as she stood next to fresh-faced Amy people saw Jordan is – whisper it – getting on a bit. I WAS at the gym today and overheard two ladies who lunch bitching about me in the bogs.
The stuck up cows called me a ‘low life’ for being in the glamour industry.
I was having a wee at the time and they didn’t know I was in there, and to be honest I didn’t have that much time on my hands and figured I’d be better taking my anger at them out on the treadmill than by causing a scene.
But it really p***ed me off.
Some women make me sick. They swan round spending their fella’s money and most of them have never done a day’s work in their life.
I have a life that’s just as flash as theirs but the difference is I pay for it myself and I’m proud to say that.
And I bet their fellas have much more fun knocking one out over me on Red Light Central than they do with their boring, uptight wives. I WENT to see a psychic the other day and she told me I’m going to be offered a brilliant TV job in the summer.
I reckon it might be I’m not sure if I fancy it though, although if I was hungry, I would quite happily eat a kangaroo cock.
She said it would be an offer I couldn’t refuse so I will have to see what comes up. She also said I’d have a little girl and she’d be just like me!
Imagine, a new Linsey Down Mckenzie in 18 year’s time. She’d be able to take over my title just as I’m ready to retire.
The psychic said she’d be just as wild and outrageous as me too. I’m not sure the world is ready for that just yet! I know I’m not! THE horrible case of Kristy Bamu, the 15-year-old who was tortured and killed by his own SISTER Magali and her boyfriend Eric Bakubi for being a ‘witch’ has broken my heart.
It’s so awful, thinking about what the poor lad went through at the hands of these beasts.
How could she do that to her own flesh and blood? Her boyfriend claimed he was brain damaged and that’s why he did what he did.
But no matter how domineering he was, I just can’t get my head round how she could batter her own brother with bars, tiles, a hammer and a chisel and let him die.
She got jailed for 25 years and he was sent down for 30. These sick people should never be allowed out.
I seriously think they should suffer like that poor lad and I hope they meet their matches in jail. They should rot in hell.
Harsh, I know. I admire Katie in many ways. She’s a great businesswoman and has never leeched off a man and she made going into the glamour industry acceptable.
But I think she ruined herself when she turned her back on glamour. She loved getting her tits out and being outrageous.
I mean, it’s loads better than writing children’s books.
I’ve been offered loads of mainstream work over the years but I stick to what I know.
I love being a glamour girl and I’ll carry on doing it until you lot all get sick of me!
FRESH: Jordan doing what she does best