Olympic highlight already here

THERE was a whiff of scandal on Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me.

Italian charmer Francesco won the £1,000 prize – but days later confessed to being a trained chef.

He had dressed as an ancient Roman for his night, which seemed fitting: “I came, I saw, I conned you.”

To me, the big scandal was Wolverhampton boy Nick claiming his fancy pastry starter was called “Black Country canapés”.

Sorry, kid, in the Black Country a “canapés” is a tin of mushy green vegetables – to be found next to the can a’carrots and the can a’faggots. MATCH of the Day spoofed the Brad Pitt thriller to illustrate they had seven games to review. They should have gone the whole hog and ended the show with Gary Lineker discovering Alan Hansen’s severed head in a box. THE Beeb’s TWENTY Twelve is easily the best thing we will get out of that glorified school sports day coming to London this summer – and you don’t even need a ticket.

The BBC2 mockumentary follows Ian Fletcher (Hugh Bonneville, right), the hapless buffoon tasked with organising the London Olympics.

He manages assorted dingbats including the pompous Kaye Hope (Amelia Bullmore), the Head of Sustainability who believes “this really could be the Games that changed the way the world dries its hands”.

Friday’s episode saw the Algerians object to the Olympic village’s “Shared Belief Centre” not having a single wall facing Mecca.

They needn’t worry. When the first Al-qaeda bomb goes off, at least some of the building will end up facing east.