C’mon Lord Alan – feed losers to the pigs!

ITV1’S Smugglers Special featured an Albanian gang flooding the UK with fake trainers.

The London-based crooks took delivery of 40,000 pairs of snide Nikes.

Unfortunately they were intercepted by the police, which explains why half of St Helens is now barefoot.

To be honest, I cannot see why the fuzz had such a hard-on for these guys.

“They are no different to people who smuggle drugs,” said one cop.

Really? I’ve never heard of anyone mugging old ladies to feed their fivepairs-a-day sneaker habit.

“There are people living in abject slavery to create these goods,” said another.

Yes and I bet life is just peachy for the poor sods who make the genuine articles.

“These are sophisticated criminals!” they insisted.

So sophisticated that one of them hid the cash down the back of his sofa!

All that entrepreneurial activity, backed by a classical score and aerial shots of the London skyline, felt like an episode of The Apprentice.

The only difference was the Albanian mafia seemed slightly more likeable than Lord Sugar’s goons.

Maybe they should go head-to-head in a one-off special: Albanians versus Apprentices. The winners get £250,000, the losers get fed to some pigs just outside Tirana. Well, I’d watch it.