C’mon Lord Alan – feed losers to the pigs!

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

ITV1’S Smug­glers Spe­cial fea­tured an Al­ba­nian gang flood­ing the UK with fake train­ers.

The London-based crooks took de­liv­ery of 40,000 pairs of snide Nikes.

Un­for­tu­nately they were in­ter­cepted by the po­lice, which ex­plains why half of St He­lens is now bare­foot.

To be hon­est, I can­not see why the fuzz had such a hard-on for these guys.

“They are no dif­fer­ent to peo­ple who smug­gle drugs,” said one cop.

Re­ally? I’ve never heard of any­one mug­ging old ladies to feed their five­pairs-a-day sneaker habit.

“There are peo­ple liv­ing in ab­ject slav­ery to cre­ate these goods,” said an­other.

Yes and I bet life is just peachy for the poor sods who make the gen­uine ar­ti­cles.

“These are so­phis­ti­cated criminals!” they in­sisted.

So so­phis­ti­cated that one of them hid the cash down the back of his sofa!

All that en­tre­pre­neur­ial ac­tiv­ity, backed by a clas­si­cal score and aerial shots of the London sky­line, felt like an episode of The Ap­pren­tice.

The only dif­fer­ence was the Al­ba­nian mafia seemed slightly more like­able than Lord Sugar’s goons.

Maybe they should go head-to-head in a one-off spe­cial: Al­ba­ni­ans ver­sus Ap­pren­tices. The win­ners get £250,000, the losers get fed to some pigs just out­side Ti­rana. Well, I’d watch it.

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