Q ‘My best friend and I used to earn the same amount but she’s recently come into a lot of money and it’s changed her – she’s forgotten what it’s like to be broke!’

A

Maybe your best friend isn’t aware that the way she deals with her newly acquired wealth has upset and alienated you. It sounds as if you haven’t spent enough face-to-face time talking about the change in your respective circumstances.

Consider, too, your true feelings about her lucky break. We would all hope to celebrate a friend’s good fortune, but it would take a remarkable person not to feel just a little envious and I suspect that might be making you more sensitive than usual.

Bear in mind, too, that any change in circumstances can put a strain on even the healthiest of relationships. It may not even be about money – when a friend gets a new partner or has a baby, it can be difficult to adjust to the new and different situation. In those instances, the friend usually becomes less available and when you do see them they spend all their time talking about the new love interest or baby, and that can make the friendship seem less balanced. Imbalances do occur in all long-term relationships; sometimes we support and sometimes we need supporting.

A sudden change of circumstance can temporarily make the friendship feel less balanced. But, as long as you and your best friend both recognise the change in circumstances and are prepared to wait out the short-term effects of that change (the novelty of a new love – be it a partner or a baby – the sudden ability to buy whatever takes your fancy), then you have a relationship worth working on.