Calm the H*ck Down

"This book made me feel like a better parent. Melanie’s wit, charm, and sheer dedication to finding humor in every circumstance reminds us that parenting can actually be (dare we say it?) FUN. Through amusing anecdotes and helpful lists, Melanie invites us to lighten up about everything from school and feelings to friendship and puberty. A delight for any parent who needs a good laugh, Calm the H*ck Down rivals the next comedy special in your Netflix queue. Do yourself a favor—skip the show and buy this book instead. I promise you’ll laugh just as hard and walk away with some parenting tips that are actually useful. Calm the H*ck Down is the permission slip you’ve been waiting for. And Melanie Dale—the mom friend you didn’t know you needed—is the perfect one to hand it to you." —Ashlee Gadd, founder of Coffee+Crumbs

"Humor and sarcasm are two characteristics that I hold most dear in a person and Melanie Dale delivers in large quantities. She says the things that we all think but aren't sure we should say out loud and the pay-off is a hilarious real look at motherhood." —Melanie Shankle, New York Times bestselling author and speaker

"Calm the H*ck Down is such a refreshing book that gives parents permission to do just that: CALM DOWN. Not only is it a joy to read with wit and humor infused in every chapter, giving us the “Thank Heaven I am not the only parent who’s thought THAT!” feeling, but, it offers tips and tricks to replace bent behaviors we often use in panic and frustration. " —Candace Payne, author, teacher, podcaster

“I don’t like parenting books. Am I allowed to say that in an endorsement for a parenting book? But [Calm the H*ck Down] is not only hilarious. This book is practical, touching at times, and oh-so-reassuring. If there’s anything we need as parents, it’s for someone to sidle up alongside us, put their arm around our shoulder, and simply say, ‘Yeah, I feel that way, too.’ Melanie is the parenting companion we all need.” —Shawn Smucker, author of The Day the Angels Fell

"I lost track of how many times I said “me too” while reading Calm The H*ck Down. This book will make you laugh while making you think but also will leave you with practical ways to lighten up about all aspects of parenting.." —Sarah Bragg, author and host of the podcast Surviving Sarah

"As the mother of three children and someone who has never read a parenting book (until now) I must say I am so glad Melanie put her thoughts, experiences, humor and heart on paper creating a book that should be in every parent's library. You're going to love this book." —Heather Avis, author of The Lucky Few

"If you want to love being a parent, read this book. Melanie’s love for her family shines through every chapter. If you want to feel less alone in all the overwhelming, anxiety producing, stressful parts of parenting, read this book. . . .  Melanie Dale is the parenting expert we need now, and Calm the H*ck Down is the book I wish I had years ago when I first became a mother. I’m glad I have it now." —Osheta Moore, author of Shalom Sistas

"Calm the H*ck Down is immediately snort-out-loud funny and relax-under-a-blanket calming. In our current world of pressure, pandemics, and playdates, Melanie's voice reminds us that this parenting gig doesn’t have to be as tough as our minds and our society make it out to be, opening the doorway for us to appreciate our here and now. So the next time our 14-year-old picks their nose, let’s roll our eyes instead of despair over their future job prospects. It’s all going to be okay! —Jamie C. Martin, author of Introverted Mom and founder of IntrovertedMoms.com 

"Now more than ever, parents need new ideas for restoring a sense of balance, self-acceptance, and grace to their parenting. This book is full of those ideas. More importantly, though, we need a voice to humbly and playfully embody those ideas for us. Melanie is that voice." —Kelly Flanagan, clinical psychologist and author of Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life

"Melanie Dale has a gift for bringing humor and heart to hard things, and that is on display in her approach to parenting. Calm the H*ck Down offers practical advice for parents raising kids, from babies to teens. Pick a topic you’re freaking out about and get ready to calm down, because Melanie has it covered." — Alli Worthington, author, speaker, and business coach