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DROWNING IN MISERY
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The catalogue of failures
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Blonde soccer PA couldn’t keep out of the dressing room when players hit the shower
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Paranoid? It might just be because you’re short
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Sweet tooth? Try chocolate toothpaste!
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Economy heading back to pre-crash boom days
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Poor Ballsy ... what a nightmare for the shouty old brute!
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How we saved our grandchild from a forced adoption
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Millions of tons of filthy water – and everyone here knows who’s to blame
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Christopher Booker
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OUR RIGHTS MUST TRUMP THOSE OF FOREIGN CRIMINALS
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Voters now as worried about immigration as the economy, says poll
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Megan stalked by a ‘creepy guy’ before she went missing
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I’M PROBABLY GONNA GET MURDERED...
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Surge in the over-90s being taken to A&E
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Quentin Letts
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Coulson’s cover-up bid, by reporter who hacked 007’s phone
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Labelling obesity a disease ‘is an excuse not to diet’
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Say sorry for Maggie’s role in the miners’ strike, Labour tell the Tories
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Executive dies after 500ft fall from roof of his bank’s HQ
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It’s cold outside, but hot as summer in our homes
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Women who get drunk with men are at risk of rape says agony aunt
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I’m no mystic but I foresaw my beloved granny’s death
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Don’t be unfair on Queen says Osborne
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Ephraim Hardcastle
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Small firms betrayed as Lloyds culls adviser jobs
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DAILY MAIL LOTTERY: HOW TO PLAY
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Naked British socialite leaps to her death after facelift
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My ancestors were slaves on Cumberbatch plantation
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We should be fracking all over the UK, says Paterson
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The singalong revolutionary the White House couldn’t crush
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FIVE cats to make a Hollywood hit — and it’s not even a mewsical
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Older men make much better dads
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Roache: I cheated on wife ... but I’m not a paedophile
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I’ve fallen into temptation, admits DLT
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Moving online, the pound store pioneer
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Get a grip! BBC blasted over £100m IT disaster
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Bored granny used her bus pass to go on shoplift tour
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I was halfway to losing myself — and my baby
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Saved by my late grandmothers
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Moment I knew my son was going to die
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A vision of nuns at my feet
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Childhood near miss that still haunts me
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I was hovering 10ft above hospital bed
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For sale, a £50m wreck
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Revolution served up at the Palace
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Battle of the songbirds
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Secret £130bn war chest that means banks WON’T raise savings rates
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We’re angry no one told us we could shop around
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What you told us ...
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160,000 Leeds savers to get simpler deals
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The £4bn high-risk bond bet
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Want to leave your digital music to your children? Sorry, it dies with you
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Can you trust a fund that offers 8 pc?
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The great packaged account fightback
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My car’s a write-off so why must I keep paying to insure it?
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STRAIGHT TO
THE POINT
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A mean stunt to pull
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The silent tap dancers
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TODAY’S RECIPE: Moroccan harira and chicken soup
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We are proof the 5:2 diet can work wonders
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Should top earners be taxed by 50 per cent?
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Using magnets to give sharks a migraine? How very attractive
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Satellite choice
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Bank on Zurich
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Markets start the fight back
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Lloyds investors burdened with extra bill for PPI payout
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Going Dutch puts Carpetright in red
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Osborne joy over march of makers
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Britain escapes pit of despair
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F&C takeover thwarted by Standard Life
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Fresnillo flops on legal fears
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HIGH ST FLOATS
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Crest Nicholson builds on return to the stock market
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ENGLAND GAMBLE ON THEIR FLYING MACHINES
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Care plan is back in force for Lancaster
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Whisper it ... but United may have put one over Jose
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LEWIS HITS THE WALL ON DAY 1
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FUTURE IS NOT SO GOLDEN FOR GB HERO AMY
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Pulis: Splash out and we’ll climb to safety
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SKYBET CHAMPIONSHIP: FOXES STAY CLEAR OF THE PACK AS QPR LEAD CHASE
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RAGING ROBERT
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Foolish Flamini dents Arsenal run for the title
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MATA’S OFF TO A FLYER FOR UNITED
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‘We’ll keep getting better,’ beams the boss
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STURR CRAZY!
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DAILY MAIL CROSSWORD
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JONATHAN CAINER
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£250,000 TO BE WON!