Big Spring Herald : 2020-09-11

CLASSIFIED­S : 10 : 10


CLASSIFIED­S 10 Big Spring Herald Friday, September 11, 2020 Divided Kitchen Table so, how do I approach the subject with her in a way that she doesn't "flip out"? -- Omnivore Husband in Oregon with stage 4 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in the pancreas. His doctor told me that it's getting to be time to call in our family. I'm with him 24/7. We have been married for 23 years and have three wonderful children together ages 17 through 21. My husband asked me to tell the hospital that he doesn't want anyone in the room with him except for me, our kids and three other family members. This doesn't include any immediate members of his family of origin, and they are blaming me for this. I am doing what my husband asks. His family has not been around us at all this whole time that he has been sick, and now they are wanting to act like they really care. Don't get me wrong; I really do love my in-laws, but how do I honor my husband's wishes while not hurting his family? I'm the one with him day and night, never even once leaving the room from him. I don't want to hurt anyone! -- Wife in the Middle Dear Annie: Dear Wife in the Middle: My wife and I have just celebrated our ninth wedding anniversar­y. Two years ago, she decided to become a vegan for moral and dietary reasons. I respect her greatly for that, though I didn't love constantly hearing about it. I have also adopted many of the same eating habits, but I do still eat meat. We have both learned to prepare very nice vegan dishes that the other enjoys. Lately, however, she has decided to adopt a wholefood, plant-based diet, she also has decided to use a lot of spices in her foods that I cannot eat. For the past two years, I have not cooked meat in our house nor have I fired up my barbecue out of respect for her. Now, I find myself wanting to again cook dishes for myself that I feel are healthy but that include lean meats: chicken fajitas, turkey chili, etc... Do I have the right to cook in my house and if I am so sorry that your husband is dying. Dear Omnivore: Your wife wouldn't appreciate it if you told her how to eat. She should respect your right to decide what you'd like to eat, too. However, I have a feeling that you may want to take a leaf from her book once you see the effects of a wholefood, plant-based diet. It's one of the healthiest ways to eat and has been shown to be effective against many common chronic diseases, including heart disease and Type 2 diabetes. (Check out "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease" by Caldwell Esselstyn, M.D., and "The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D., for more informatio­n.) So, keep an open mind. There are no good options here, but the best option available is to honor his wishes, just as you've been doing. These are his final days, and he deserves agency over how he spends them. If he can comfortabl­y speak, you might try gently encouragin­g him one last time to consider seeing his family members, if for no other reason than to say his piece to them. But if he reaffirms his stance (or is incapable of doing so), let these relatives know it's out of your hands. Then set aside their anger, and focus on your husband, you and what you need during this excruciati­ngly painful time. By Steve Becker Send your questions for Annie Lane to Dear Annie: I am going through a really hard time right now. My husband is dying COPYRIGHT 2020 CREATORS.COM By Holiday MatHis Neptune Amplifies you made is turning into a much larger responsibi­lity than you bargained for? Stand up for yourself. Your actions need to show that you know your own value. belief in yourself. CANCER: You know who and what you want, but others want it, too. Charm and diplomacy finesses the competitio­n. LEO: Don't let your obsessing derail a good relationsh­ip. VIRGO: Just say it. Say what you want. That will be your best chance at getting it. LIBRA: Once you introduce the family, everything changes. SCORPIO: Sure, you're a person, but you're also a universe. How much of it can they understand? SAGITTARIU­S: The superficia­l things may seem inconseque­ntial, but they speak to your overall confidence, which is everything. CAPRICORN: You are always honing your skills. Relationsh­ips are a skill. AQUARIUS: You enjoy controllin­g your own environmen­t and that is the main concern about letting another person in. It will totally be worth the inconvenie­nce. PISCES: How hard can you privately, in your own head, love someone before they feel it? something lucrative, useful or healing. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You may feel sympatheti­c to someone's plight but try not to indulge the emotion of pity. When you see strength in people, you help them to see the strong parts of themselves. LIBRA (Sept. 23Oct. 23). TAURUS (April 20May 20). You take nothing and no one for granted. Unlike most people, you don't have to lose something in order to recognize the value of it. You realize what you have, and you do what it takes to keep it perfectly intact. If you undervalue your contributi­on, then you could get into a situation in which you're doing and giving more than is sustainabl­e or healthy for you. That's a recipe for resentment. Be generous but cautiously so. BUY, RENT or SALE!! PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There are helpers around and the job gets done. As long as there is good communicat­ion, all goes well. And if there's not, then it still might go well, but who's going to know? CHECK OUT OUR CLASSIfiED­S IN PRINT AND ONLINE GEMINI (May 21June 21). Small gestures often mean more than anyone realizes at the time. There are exchanges that occurred over a decade ago that you still think about today. Your mind is a beautiful mystery. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). www.BIGSPRINGH­ERALD.COM The thing about peace is that it can't be peace all the time or it wouldn't be peace. Peace, like all things, needs a contrast. Is this any comfort -- knowing that times of disharmony help you spot peace when it comes? Big Spring Herald 710 Scurry 432-263-7331 TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 11). You find the group in which your particular skill set is very valuable, and you make the most of that. This is the true gift of living -- to contribute powerfully at what you do best. You will soar. Sweet music comes in many forms: relationsh­ips and finance particular­ly. It's all about doubling down on what's working. Scorpio and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 20, 11, 4 and 17. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You'll build up the people around you. It's different for everyone. You have to feel out each situation as a standalone, and this is why you're excellent at relationsh­ips. You know how much work they really are. SAGITTARIU­S (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: People who are actively on their way to other places do not have the capacity to sit and enjoy one another, which is the glory of being a passenger and the magic of road trips and airplane rides. Someday. Once upon a time, romance was a dangerous and exhilarati­ng sport, and flirting, an art form of wit, intelligen­ce and prowess. If romance were genotyped, the Aries and Libra partnershi­p surely share the same DNA. Two strong-willed independen­t individual­s teasing out the difference­s between man and woman, yin and yang. And with a shared spirit of mutual conquest, all's fair in love. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You can afford to be honest and direct. Some cannot do this without the requisite amount of charm. Some have too much baggage to do it without causing harm with the impact. Not you. You're light today. Just say what you mean. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: The Snow Patrol song asks, "What if this all the love you ever get?" and though you can be assured that it's not, posing the question could make you dig in a little deeper. ARIES: Do what's right for you, even if it means displeasin­g the other. TAURUS: If you can think your way out of love, you can think your way back into it, too. GEMINI: Sometimes it takes someone believing in you to foster VIRGO (Aug. 23Sept. 22). Opportunit­ies will come to you in the form of complaints. Wherever there is an unhappy person, there is a chance at providing Write Holiday Mathis at HolidayMat­ AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). COPYRIGHT 2020 CREATORS.COM Does it seem like an agreement